Last Saturday i went for an all day ride with L. We had dated briefly a couple of years ago, went on a nice ride on his bike during a rainy day on the shoreline (which was a lot nicer than i expected) last year and when he reached out again recently I was all about going for another nice ride.
He is tall, handsome, checks all the boxes and most importantly has a lot of miles on his ride .....but i don't see it being anything more than riding companions once in a while. He is a little flakey. But i'm safe with him.
We got together to go for a ride and to compare stories of our crazy love lives. I won't go into his business, or write too much about Mr. Cigars drama life......but they are kinda similar, only flipped. L had his "roommate" arrested, and Mr. Cigars "roommate" had him arrested.
Thats where the similarities end.
And yes, i totally lied to Mr. Cigar about my whereabouts last Saturday because I don't owe him any information about my personal life. Do i feel bad that I lied to him? No. Thats our environment and HE created it. I felt bad that i DIDN'T feel bad. Hear the doom toll ringing?
I can't remember what i've written about where he is concerned but it's over. Again. And this time i told Sarah everything and she told me if i ever speak to him again she is going to tell Cathy and they will hold an intervention.
I wonder if i can get sent away to a spa?
Probably not.
Anyways. It ended the way it always does. He says something, i call him on it, he gets angry and threatens, i still call him on it, and he breaks up with me over text in a cruel and uncaring way. Per usual. For someone who calls me predictable......he would know.
This time, what i'm truly believing is the last time, I felt nothing but relief. I've been in a relationship with him and it's been one sided. Now we are even. We are both free to pursue our lives without each other, and for ME, thats a blessing. I'm not mad, i'm relieved. I was mad. I was insulted. But isn't that the norm with him?
His arrest is what really put a bad taste in my mouth. I know she's crazy and vindictive but he pushed her. He put his hands on her and she told him she was going to ruin his life.......and so far she is doing an excellent job. Because it was a domestic arrest he had to turn in all his guns, and that means no more competitive shooting......His life is pretty much on hold an in ruins. And he did it to himself. He hollered at me when he was yet again talking about what assholes the police where and how she should have also been arrested, and all his rhetoric about the state being liberal and him being a successful white man......the more i listened to him the more i disliked him. I said AGAIN, well you put your hands on her. The arrest wasnt' personal. The state doesn't care about the details of you lovelife. And he lost his mind on me.
Poooor Mr. Cigar.
Constantly makes his own bed but can't sleep in it.
It's been days since i heard from him and as far as i'm concerned that is the blessing in my life. I won't block him again.....yet. But i also won't go through this nonsense again. What more do i need to know? He got arrested and still can't take accountability for his actions. What i know is that i don't want to be part of it. That's way too low for me. Thank you.
Yesterday it was storming and i stayed home and spent the day purging my apartment doing the Swedish Death Cleaning. It's time for me to get rid of stuff i've been dragging around so i can make peaceful space in my life. Both physicaly and mentally. It's time for a serious cleansing and reset. I went so crazy that I have no idea where i put my toothpaste.....which i found out this morning.
Maybe i better take it a little easy. LOL
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