Selective memory isn't something you want when your spouse is breaking up with you. During the first few days, at least from my personal experience, you will only remember all the good things you are losing as you walk back and forth between the same two rooms not knowing what the hell to do with all these FEELINGS. You will hurt, you will rage, you will want to beg (don't) you will want to make deals, or talk them into not leaving you. These aren't to be shared with that person. That person gave up the right to know your innermost workings. Fuck that person and i don't mean literally. You need to remember ALL of it, like all the NOT so good things you will no longer have to deal with.
And to the person DOING the breaking up- be honest, be kind, be quick and be the fuck gone. It is not a kindness to the person you are breaking up with to be too nice. I'm here to tell you that it will be taken as a ray of hope that you are changing your mind, that you have come to your senses, that OF COURSE you can't live without them either! Here's the key, have a place to go BEFORE you blow up the world of your live in partner. That way you can exit stage left and leave them to begin their healing. And your healing. Hanging around thinking you are "helping" the person being left is, lets be honest here, more about your feelings than theirs. IF you do have reason to feel bad, then feel bad. From a distance. DO NOT place any more hurt on the person who has just had their life as they knew it balled up and thrown away by you. YOU are not the person to comfort them.
Do NOT keep telling that person you "love" them. That is the biggest line of bullshit around. Love goes through growing pains, Love learns, adjusts, sacrifices and supports. Love gets help when it can't do it alone. Love holds on during the storm. People who do NOT love each other break up, give up, walk away. Don't mix it up. Don't use it to lighten your guilt. Be responsible and clean up your business respectfully, and without conditions. Even if you don't love that person any more, at one point you thought you did. Do the right thing.
And to the person DOING the breaking up- be honest, be kind, be quick and be the fuck gone. It is not a kindness to the person you are breaking up with to be too nice. I'm here to tell you that it will be taken as a ray of hope that you are changing your mind, that you have come to your senses, that OF COURSE you can't live without them either! Here's the key, have a place to go BEFORE you blow up the world of your live in partner. That way you can exit stage left and leave them to begin their healing. And your healing. Hanging around thinking you are "helping" the person being left is, lets be honest here, more about your feelings than theirs. IF you do have reason to feel bad, then feel bad. From a distance. DO NOT place any more hurt on the person who has just had their life as they knew it balled up and thrown away by you. YOU are not the person to comfort them.
Do NOT keep telling that person you "love" them. That is the biggest line of bullshit around. Love goes through growing pains, Love learns, adjusts, sacrifices and supports. Love gets help when it can't do it alone. Love holds on during the storm. People who do NOT love each other break up, give up, walk away. Don't mix it up. Don't use it to lighten your guilt. Be responsible and clean up your business respectfully, and without conditions. Even if you don't love that person any more, at one point you thought you did. Do the right thing.
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