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why didn't i remind myself?

I meant to take pictures of the house before i started packing and i completely forgot.  Is that morbid?  To want to remember my first real "home"......that was finished and painted the way i wanted before we ever moved in?  Our little tiny home that i loved so much I never wanted to be pried out of the house or off of our deck.

Being laid off from work shortly after we moved in left me with a lot of time and no money to decorate however through the years we slowly added furniture and decorations that reflected who we were, not the latest styles.  I've become someone who does what feels good, happy and comfortable, not someone who does what everyone else is doing.  I tried to surround ourselves in items that brought us joy, sentimentality or comfort. Our home reflected that I think.  He says it was always my home, never his - however, "my" home would not have displayed glasses from beer festivals we've attended every year, or Camaros.  Nor would it have sported a dirtbike shower curtain or huge Fox sign in the bathroom........which i actually grew to love.

I like everything in its place, and organized.  He doesn't.  We are polar opposites in every way, this was bound to catch up with us.  (Although it was and remains one of my crazy attractions to him)

So obviously i started packing, if that's what you call taking everything out of cabinets, and closets and depositing the items all over the damn house so you can barely walk between that and the empty boxes.  I have succeeded in making one hellified mess that slowly is starting to make sense.  So many friends have offered to help me pack and as much as i'd love the company and assistance it is virtually impossible to accept.  I am purging you see, getting rid of items that i have moved around with me for years and either never or no longer need.  Attachment to things is something i would really like to limit.  I feel the need to lighten my load so to speak.  Simplify my existence.  Also, since i will be living in several different places I need to decide what comes with me there, what to store and what to give away.  These are things, and I will not die without them.  It is infinitely more painful to give up people.


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