It happens like this -
You are carrying on, doing your thing, working your day, communicating with people - nothing has gone wrong. You are fine. More than fine, you are good. You are smiling even, and looking forward to events to take place later in the week. And then,
You take you earrings off because damn, they are annoying you today. They are the dangly hippie ones that you adore, but are a little heavy. You hold them up thinking about where to put them so you don't lose them...and you think how you used to hang orphan earrings in your rear view mirror when you were younger and adorned your vehicle with bits of your self....And then,
You remember early on, but not so early that you felt you had no right, getting into his car and closing the door. You are so occupied with him, and getting yourself situated that it takes you a minute to see it, and then another minute for it to sink in, before you feel that heat roll through your chest down to the base of your being. The sweat begins to pop out on your skin as the flush of anger passes through you........and you are silent. Because the car is now moving. Because you don't want to have a fight. Because you don't want to believe what you are seeing.
Would he really have balls that big? To leave it there on purpose if it were anything BUT innocent? I mean he has to realize it's there. He's not hiding it. So it must be innocent. It has to be. Because if it isn't, i am a fool.
It's red, and it's cheap - probably from Claire's - costume jewelry, something a stripper might wear. gaudy - can't miss it. (before statement necklaces became a thing)
He asks me whats wrong, he can feel the vibe. And then,
I ask "what the fuck is that?" and point. He laughs. I'm so relieved, its something so dumb probably and i'm totally over reacting, again, without reason. (again?) Right? Right???
He laughs and says i worry too much. That he gave a friend a ride and she left it there. Stop over reacting.......
When is the last time (ever?!) that you have removed your jewelry in a mans vehicle and left it to hang in his rear view mirror?
I asked "who" and he wouldn't say......."a friend"..........and then,
I accepted this. I knew it was bullshit, I knew it was bullshit.......I KNEW IT WAS BULLSHIT. And then..... i let it go.
Just now, remembering this, the rage passed through me, the rage that i should have taken out on him when i had the chance. I'm shaking and I feel like breaking shit. And then.......I let it go.
You are carrying on, doing your thing, working your day, communicating with people - nothing has gone wrong. You are fine. More than fine, you are good. You are smiling even, and looking forward to events to take place later in the week. And then,
You take you earrings off because damn, they are annoying you today. They are the dangly hippie ones that you adore, but are a little heavy. You hold them up thinking about where to put them so you don't lose them...and you think how you used to hang orphan earrings in your rear view mirror when you were younger and adorned your vehicle with bits of your self....And then,
You remember early on, but not so early that you felt you had no right, getting into his car and closing the door. You are so occupied with him, and getting yourself situated that it takes you a minute to see it, and then another minute for it to sink in, before you feel that heat roll through your chest down to the base of your being. The sweat begins to pop out on your skin as the flush of anger passes through you........and you are silent. Because the car is now moving. Because you don't want to have a fight. Because you don't want to believe what you are seeing.
Would he really have balls that big? To leave it there on purpose if it were anything BUT innocent? I mean he has to realize it's there. He's not hiding it. So it must be innocent. It has to be. Because if it isn't, i am a fool.
It's red, and it's cheap - probably from Claire's - costume jewelry, something a stripper might wear. gaudy - can't miss it. (before statement necklaces became a thing)
He asks me whats wrong, he can feel the vibe. And then,
I ask "what the fuck is that?" and point. He laughs. I'm so relieved, its something so dumb probably and i'm totally over reacting, again, without reason. (again?) Right? Right???
He laughs and says i worry too much. That he gave a friend a ride and she left it there. Stop over reacting.......
When is the last time (ever?!) that you have removed your jewelry in a mans vehicle and left it to hang in his rear view mirror?
I asked "who" and he wouldn't say......."a friend"..........and then,
I accepted this. I knew it was bullshit, I knew it was bullshit.......I KNEW IT WAS BULLSHIT. And then..... i let it go.
Just now, remembering this, the rage passed through me, the rage that i should have taken out on him when i had the chance. I'm shaking and I feel like breaking shit. And then.......I let it go.
Comments
Post a Comment