Skip to main content

two in a day

I'm very aware that this blog is public, and trust me when i say- I sometimes delete more than i post.  Not sometimes.  Most times.

Years ago i kept journals, which were pillaged by my ex-husband so i stopped writing.  When we parted ways, i began to blog online.  This was back when blogging wasn't a business and it wasn't meant to make money.  I enjoyed it, but this also caused some upset when people identified themselves in my blogs and felt it was unflattering.

I have two thoughts on this- One is, i don't lie, or make up stories.  If you don't want to be written about in a certain way- maybe just don't give me anything to write about.  If it happened to me I get to write about my version.  There's a comment section for anyone to call bullshit at any time and it hasn't happened once.  Yes, I've had to apologize for upsetting people and i've also developed deeper relationships because of my blogging so.......i'm gonna say what i'm gonna say.  Confront me, or not.  Care, or not - that is also up to you.

My second thought is - I don't "out" anyone in my blogs.  So if you are worried that i'm going to spill your business, stop it.  I'm not interested in hurting people or causing problems.  No matter how you feel about me, if you know me at all, you know i'll tell you straight.  IF it's my business to tell.  Again, there have been many times that i've wanted to write some nasty nasty stuff that i know about people i owe nothing to.  I haven't done it.  Not my style.

Why am i here?  Because writing is cathartic for me.  Some people play music, play sports, drink, whatever- I write.  Maybe ask yourself why you are here.  Are your motives clear to you?  Is it entertainment or are you hoping to see yourself here?  Or scared you will?

I never get comments so i have no idea who reads this or what their motives are.  That alone should reassure anyone who feels threatened.  See, this isn't about you.  It's FOR me.  And if you can identify with, or gain understanding by reading these blogs- more power to you.  But in the end, i don't really care what it does or does not do for the anonymous audience that remains unknown to me.

That is all.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Let's talk about Mr. Racecar

 I admit it.  I am a little bit excited about meeting Mr. Racecar.   He's younger- 53 He's taller, and bigger than me He has tats, bald head and long beard He builds cars/trucks and drag races - own his shop which is attached to his home.  ONE is a Camaro.  It sounds NASTY. He lives an hour away Now......here's what happens in my head:  What the hell could this man possibly see in me?  Why would he want to meet me?  He- owns a Harley but hasn't ridden it in a few years due to a car accident that left him unable to walk again until recently. He is a typical male in that some of his talk tries to lead me down the "lets talk about sex, baby, lets talk about you and me" side of things, which I have successfully diverted without him losing interest. I'm looking to date, to find the man I want to have a relationship with, not a situationship. And then I had to explain what a situationship is because he has only just started dating again, and he is ...

I danced.

 This past Saturday night i revisited what it felt like to be the zero fucks ME.   I had talked myself out of going out that night.  I dragged my ass around the house and thought of every reason to text my girlfriend an excuse about why i wasn't going out. I had many valid reasons.  Putting on real clothes, trying to make myself attractive, going somewhere i've never been all by myself to walk up to a man i've been talking to, but haven't ever met face to face.   Okay, Mb.  Just put on your sassy pants and go do it.  Nothing to lose, everything to gain.   But PJs.   No.   On my way I get a text from my gf, she's running late.  When i get to the venue I ask her "how late" and she says about 1/2 an hour. She's picking up our other 2 girlfriends. Do i sit out here in the car for half an hour like a baby when his gig starts in half hour, or do i go inside by myself (getting used to that) and find him, say hello ...

Secrets

 Yesterday I found myself telling someone something about my life that I had not planned on sharing.  We don't really talk too much about our past relationships.  We aren't there yet and i don't know that it's really important.  It's not a race to the finish line.  There is time.   This was just the natural time to share the information. I have very few regrets in my life, some things i may have done differently, but even so, without regret.  Everything has brought me to who i am today.  This got me thinking of how much I've changed, that i would not even put the energy into defending anything I've done because i don't have to, and because i don't want to, or need to.  This also brought to mind how often judgement used to rule my world, and how I felt about myself. I married very young, to my high school boyfriend.  For many reasons, all i ever wanted (in my wisdom of 21 years) was to get married, have babies, and live happily ever ...