Skip to main content

Its no good when i wonder

 I remember dating a guy briefly who would always tell me when he was going to call again, and he would ask me out for the next time before we ended the current date.  That was truly unique, in that I have never heard of, or had, a man treat me so consistently.  We weren't a match, but I still remember how respectful he was and how nice it was not to wonder.

When i start to wonder, it's not a good thing.

I don't like it.  I don't like open ends left hanging. If you don't know, say you don't know when the next time we will get together will be.  I'll decide if you are worth waiting for.

Thats the thing with men, they want to hold all the cards and we women generally let them.

Not anymore.  Not me. 

I will NOT wonder.

I found that mans consistency so attractive that i can't go back.  He showed interest and didn't make me wonder.  These games men play are not attractive, do not make us want them more- it actually ruins any good feelings we may be developing.

Here's the rule:  If you have to wonder if he likes you, he doesn't.

When they all of a sudden drop out of sight, and then come back with pebble texting it's not cute.  It's not exciting.  For me.........it's a major turn off.

And i like that about me.  I never used to have boundaries and i always felt like i was spinning at their will.  Not. Anymore.    Never. Again.

So when Mr. Saybrook doesn't text or call last night.........i didn't sit and stress.  I put it out of my head.  I didn't think what else he might be doing, or if he was going to call me again.  Or all the stupid thoughts that used to roll around in my mind not allowing me to think about anything else.  I think thats obsession, or addiction.....and i've seen it, acknowledged it, and moved away from it.

My life is my life and i invite people into it as long as they don't disrupt my peace.  Last night i colored and listened to my audio book and before i knew it, it was passed 10pm which is late for me.  I went to bed and crashed.  I had a peaceful evening.

This morning i get the obligatory "good morning" text and I don't have that giddy feeling.  Something has changed.  It might be me.  But this is how you find out if something is real. If you are really interested.

Or maybe not?

I am finding that the "let them" approach (no i haven't read the book yet) is working for me.  I do my thing, and let them do their thing and don't worry about what is or isn't going to happen.  If i find myself worrying, or wondering.........that's not a good sign.  It doesn't mean CHASE to prove i am worthy.

Like i did with Mr. Tattoo.  Like i did with the ex.  Because neither was a prize to win.  And i AM worthy.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Let's talk about Mr. Racecar

 I admit it.  I am a little bit excited about meeting Mr. Racecar.   He's younger- 53 He's taller, and bigger than me He has tats, bald head and long beard He builds cars/trucks and drag races - own his shop which is attached to his home.  ONE is a Camaro.  It sounds NASTY. He lives an hour away Now......here's what happens in my head:  What the hell could this man possibly see in me?  Why would he want to meet me?  He- owns a Harley but hasn't ridden it in a few years due to a car accident that left him unable to walk again until recently. He is a typical male in that some of his talk tries to lead me down the "lets talk about sex, baby, lets talk about you and me" side of things, which I have successfully diverted without him losing interest. I'm looking to date, to find the man I want to have a relationship with, not a situationship. And then I had to explain what a situationship is because he has only just started dating again, and he is ...
Post a Comment
Keep reading »

I danced.

 This past Saturday night i revisited what it felt like to be the zero fucks ME.   I had talked myself out of going out that night.  I dragged my ass around the house and thought of every reason to text my girlfriend an excuse about why i wasn't going out. I had many valid reasons.  Putting on real clothes, trying to make myself attractive, going somewhere i've never been all by myself to walk up to a man i've been talking to, but haven't ever met face to face.   Okay, Mb.  Just put on your sassy pants and go do it.  Nothing to lose, everything to gain.   But PJs.   No.   On my way I get a text from my gf, she's running late.  When i get to the venue I ask her "how late" and she says about 1/2 an hour. She's picking up our other 2 girlfriends. Do i sit out here in the car for half an hour like a baby when his gig starts in half hour, or do i go inside by myself (getting used to that) and find him, say hello ...
Post a Comment
Keep reading »

Secrets

 Yesterday I found myself telling someone something about my life that I had not planned on sharing.  We don't really talk too much about our past relationships.  We aren't there yet and i don't know that it's really important.  It's not a race to the finish line.  There is time.   This was just the natural time to share the information. I have very few regrets in my life, some things i may have done differently, but even so, without regret.  Everything has brought me to who i am today.  This got me thinking of how much I've changed, that i would not even put the energy into defending anything I've done because i don't have to, and because i don't want to, or need to.  This also brought to mind how often judgement used to rule my world, and how I felt about myself. I married very young, to my high school boyfriend.  For many reasons, all i ever wanted (in my wisdom of 21 years) was to get married, have babies, and live happily ever ...
Post a Comment
Keep reading »