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Who am I?

 Tomorrow after work i'm meeting a man i've been talking to for a while online.  He's an influencer that i connected with over thrifting of all things.  Then music, and on and on.

That, AND he is attractive.  Irish.  Tats. Red head........I know, I know.  

He' a jersey guy so not incredibly far, but far enough.  Flirtatious, yes.  He travels a lot for his job and he likes to meet people.  We enjoy talking to each other so when he asked if i was available on Wednesday, i agreed to meet up with him for dinner.

I started out this year with the plan to have 52 first dates, or until i meet the love of my life.  I realize that this is a huge endevour and takes a LOT of time.  Its made me realize i don't have that kind of time and if I DID i have other ways i'd like to spend it.

But of course, i'm still saying "yes" to meeting men who ask me out who don't give me the creeps.   I check them out, vet them, and meet them.  So far, so good.  I'm learning way more about myself than i am about them though.  I'm pushing through my negative self talk, i'm just enjoying the moment.

So Mr. Jersey- I'm looking forward to meeting him.  In his grwm videos he slaps on some cologne each time and it always makes me wonder what he smells like.

Work is killing me - it's my busy time and it just keeps coming and coming and coming....i know there is an end to it, kind of, because it's my project.  I've got a LOT of balls in the air trying to coordinate what is coming up and who needs a kick in the butt to make deadlines.  My boss is semi-retiring this summer and will only be staying part time for a year after.  He is stepping down and that is leaving a lot of unanswered questions for what my position will look like after he leaves.  He is in his 80's......I knew this was coming.  I'm still sad because working with him has been the best time of my whole career.  He is brilliant, kind and patient.  He is also an outstanding teacher, as i know first hand.  I found this job out of desperation to get out of a bad one.......and landed exactly where i was meant to be.  

The future is a little blurry- but i'm told not to worry.  So i won't.  But I can be sad for a period of time that will be coming to an end. How often does someone like me get to work with a Nuerosurgeon as a partner? He has shown me how this plan works and i have taken it and run with it......He calls it my baby and says he has complete faith that i have it under control. Yes, i do idolize him a bit.  Yes, he is a bit of a father figure to me- his praise is everything.  I see/hear him handle some providers that are ....difficult....with grace and style.  No one messes with him.  He is truly that old world gentleman that you do not want to screw with.  

okay enough free flow writing for now.  

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