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Nice to come home

 Nothing feels as good as coming home after being away all weekend.  I went places, i saw people and i did things.  I'm exhausted.

And content.

I don't feel any anger over dragging my stuff back into the house and cleaning the cat box, taking out the garbage and opening a window for a bit of fresh air while i unpack and put stuff away.  Because i'm doing it for myself, just myself.  There's no one dumping me off at the house and taking off to go see his friends leaving me with all the chores.

It's just me.

I pack for one and 1/2 (my 5 lb dog) and i go.  Where i want.  When i want.  And i come home when i want. 

Alone isn't always a bad thing. 

I drove home and listened to my audio book without having anyone be mad at me for whatever reason, without anyone telling me his friends didn't like me because HE had a temper tantrum.  Without anyone driving like someone with a deathwish while i was in the car with him.....

I'll drive anywhere now.  By myself.  Much better.

I'm trying to remember what i miss.  Can't think of a damn thing today.  I came home to a clean house because i left it like that.  There's food in the fridge, and there always will be because i take care of it.  Myself.  The bills are paid, and getting paid, because i take care of it myself.  I'm not wondering when / if his portion will be coming, because it won't be.  I no longer wait for a man to behave like a man.  I do it.  Myself.

My car isn't cool.  I don't have a vacation home.  I don't have a lot of toys.  What i do have is my family, my friends, and my peace.

So let me go check the dating site that i've been neglecting and see how i can fuck that all up with a man.

Not really.

Ha.

His baby mama reached out  to me again.  Not sure what she wants from me.  To commiserate how horrible he is?  What makes her think i'm the one?  I will never understand people.  And ...i don't have to. 

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