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Because i can

 Last night i reached out to a guy i know.  He's not someone i would date.  I'm not someone he would date.  We know this because we have gone out on a date which ended in the understanding that dating was not going to be our thing. wink wink.

He's very loud, and off the hook.  And fun.  I'm pretty sure i can't offend him.  For as long as i've known him (years) he doesn't seem to care about much, aside from his dogs.  He loves his dogs. And his bike.  And his club.

So there's that.

I'm not sure why they hell we have stayed in contact to be honest.  We always answer each others texts?  We flirt even though nothing usually comes of it?  We just like each other? We are both easy for each other?  shrug.  

I mean, neither one of us is getting anything out of this relationship.  We rarely actually see each other, we just keep talking to each other.  It's not constant.  It's a "hey, what happened now" kind of thing.  On both ends. A check in kinda.  You wanna?  no? okay, but are you good then?  yeah?  okay till next time.

When my car needs to be repaired, he'll offer to do it and tell me when someone is over charging me.  I don't take him up on it, because........well.  Because.  I know he'll charge me fair, but it will still cost more.  Get it?  And i don't like that arrangement. Once i mentioned to him something that happened to me on a date and he was ready to go handle business.  I don't owe anybody anything and i'm keeping it that way.  You walk a very fine line with men like him.  And it's good to know where you stand on it.  At all times. 

So why keep in touch?  I like him.He's loud obnoxious and fun.  He's real.  And he's wayyyy too much for me.  I'm not about that life.  I like it nice and calm and peaceful. And worry free.  I'd be insane to want those things and then get involved with a 1%er.  

Plus, i could never hold my own in that environment.  I'm too peace love and kumbaya.  People beating each other up just scares me, it doesn't make me want to do it too.  Yes, i have a temper.  But it's more restrained.

Hey, more power too him.  I get it.  But i've never been one to get romantically involved in that life.  I know too many people, heard too many stories, seen too many things. All of which, i've kept my mouth shut about.  And always will.

Anyhoo.  I reached out and said "why can't you come over and just cuddle?"

......."now?"

"No. I'm having a headboard delivered tonight"

"So i can tie you up to it when we cuddle?"

"NO.  Actual cuddling. Silly"

So.  Don't ask a big badass biker man to come over and cuddle........ I know it will be great, because i've been there before. i know there will be no attachment aside from what we already have going on and that's fine too. It's required actually.  I'll get tossed around and taken care of and he will go home......or wherever he goes.  Until next time.

I mean...Trump is President.  Looks like Kennedy is going to head our healthcare........I minds well have a good time before the shit hits the fan.  And no, thats not a commentary on them per se, it's more a commentary on the state of this country and the lack of choices we have about who leads it.  We were stuck between dumb and dumber in my opinion.  There was no viable choice.  So fuck it.  



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