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Clearing my head

 Coming home from work has been the worst.  It's when i miss him the most.

Today, my son came over to check and make sure his key worked.  He is going to be taking care of Ninja, my cat.  While he was here i gathered most of Miyagi's belongings and asked if he would please give them to someone who needs them, or donate them.  I do not need to know which.  Just don't throw anything away.  There was a lot.

I didn't include his toys, i kept our favorite outfits and the blanket he slept on in his bed.  And his collar.  Just some keepsakes to comfort me.  He is gone.  He is feeling no pain.  I need to remind myself that he had a great life, and we had our time together.

My son is asking about Ninja, and if i still wanted to re-home her.  I did, when Miyagi was alive, because he hated her.  Now, i just feel bad that she is here alone all day and my son works remotely most days, and has a kitten that would be her friend.  If he wants to take her i will let him.  If my daughter wanted her, i would let her take her.  But i need to know she is in good hands.  

Otherwise, her and I will ride it out and get used to our new lives.  I just feel empty.  

Helping Bill with the new puppy takes up some time.  Tonight i'm puppy sitting for a few hours i'll have her and the boys.  It makes me sad, but it also is very different.  These pups aren't mine.  I love them, but it's not the same.  It will never be the same.

Yes, all this over a dog.  If you don't understand i don't know if i feel sorry for you or jealous.  

My vacation starts tonight.  My first time out of the country is coming right up.  I've got my passport burning a hole in my pocket, waiting for it's first stamp.  Here i come.  Wish me luck.

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