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Puppies and double lives

 Bill got a puppy.  I am in puppy heaven.  

Also, puppies have never ending energy, sharp little teeth, and then they just drop and sleep wherever they are.  

And BIG BOYS are very undecided if they will tolerated this little bundle of energy.

Kane says, absolutely not.

Abel says, he just wants to sniff her butt.

Bill says, he's not worried about it. 

The gate between the kitchen/dining area and the great room is doing its job.  Everyone can see each other and the boys watch her run around with her pull rope (bigger than she is).  

AND i got in trouble with the dogs again.  This dog life is complicated.  I took the boys outside, as i do.....and this time, they heard something and both took off running around the house barking.....I yelled to Kane and he turned around and came back to me.  Abel, on the other hand - said fuck off.

I didn't know what to do.

So i ran into the house for Bill, and told him.  Then i got yelled at.

So i ran back outside and yelled for Abel in my "I mean business" voice, and started walking around the house to find him.....but he came running back to me almost immediately.

I was shocked.

But then Bill told me he knew i meant well, but he would let the dogs out from now on.  That pissed me off.  I don't know shit about being the boss with big dogs.  I never had to, and i've been very honest about my confidence in being able to control them.  But whatever Bill, you can do it all then instead of  teaching me.

Later, i took them out again.  At night. Which i said i'd never do again.  But this time, i reviewed the steps with Bill, and then i took them out.  He must think i'm retarded. But i need some time to acclimate into dog mom.  Anyways, a GOOD dog mom.  And with the puppy, her name is River, I get a chance to grow with her.

I think.

Because this morning i woke up sad.  I can't post pictures of the cutie or her dad on my social media.  I don't get bragging rights about how smart she is, fetching already.  She's not mine.  He's not mine.  Not publicly.

I don't want to be one of those women posting pictures and gushing about how in love she is, but i do want to post pictures of  things i do, and things i get excited about....parts of MY life too.....like playing with a puppy all day.  

I leave on my cruise soon.  And i've decided to say nothing about anything until i come back.  It IS strange that i'm taking a cruise with Doug, Jen and Eddie- and that Eddie and i are sharing a room.  I wouldn't like it either, BUT, I wouldn't have agreed to go if Bill hadn't of broken up with me back then. And Eddie is my friend, we travel well together.  I'm not screwing him, or my friends, out of paying for my trip.  I'm going, and i'm going to have a great time.  Bill was invited to come as well when we got back together but he has too many reasons he needs to be home.  That is his choice.

So i get that we might be on a bit of "hold" until i come back.  Hell, for all i know he may break it off with me.  Or me him!  A week apart, with most likely little to no contact, will do us both good.  Give us both time to miss each other, or decide we really don't miss each other at  all.  

I just hope we both agree to the same choice.

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