as the world turns

 After work i had a doctors appointment in Cheshire.  I realized that my tires were extremely low on air.

Have i ever written about how much i HATE putting air in my tires?  My husband used to do it, then later Darryl did it.......and i've been on my own with it since then.  I hate it.  It sucks.  It seems very easy however i manage to let more air out than in most of the time.

I have prided myself on being able to take care of these things myself.  By making appointments.  For oil changes and such.  But you have to do the air yourself.  

I have been ignoring it, because that's what i do.  Let me tell you the ride home after that noreaster was a lesson in why we need air in our tires.

So i'm pissed.  I text Darryl and say "i'll take you for pizza if you put air in my tires" and he agrees.  We meet up at two different gas stations, and both have the air machines not working.  Just like where i live.  They are snowed in or broken.

Where the fuck are we supposed to get air in our tires?

We go get slices, and sit and talk for a while.  He tests the waters on how long its been for me, and i make it clear that isn't happening.  (The moment he cheated on me THAT door closed forever)  However, its still nice to sit and visit with him, no stress.

We go to his house because he has an air compressor.  Ta Da......air in my tires.  BUT as i'm sitting in the car, and he's putting air in, his daughter comes out looking for him.

Wow.  She's a pretty thing, tall, looks like him in all the good ways.  She looks at me confused, then sees her dad at my rear tire. 

I never, ever, in my wildest dreams EVER, expected to sit in that driveway again with him doing me a favor - let alone have his daughter come out and I wonder what he's going to tell her when he goes in the house when i leave.  Surreal.  And a full circle.

We broke up a 13 year relationship because he got her mama preggers......and she is the outcome.

As much and as fast as she has grown up, so have I.  She's the physical representation of my own growth.  That's weird right?  But thats what flashed into my mind.

I think he tried to kiss me when i reached out for a hug.  He leaned into the window and i wrapped my arms around his head.  Nope.  Nope.  uh uh.  I remember.  The first time i met him he leaned into my car to kiss me again before i left......i remember.

But that was then.  I'm not the same.

He made me laugh though, as he stood next to the car he asked me what he could get for an oil change?

It made me think of Bill.  What was i so attracted to?  The challenge?  He never offered me anything more than what he was already doing.......It's good to review these things and learn these lessons.

Wish i wasn't kissing 60 years of age before i got here.