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Reminder

 I need to slow my roll.

I haven't been talking to Marine man for a whole week yet and i look for his messages for that dopamine rush.  I like the way he talks to me.

He sometimes slips and calls me M'am.  I mean, i've been called worse. 

Last night he was wrapped up in the news, watching an elite hostage rescue team in Tuscan regarding the Nancy Guthrie situation.  There was no distracting him, however, i did get my own personal updates from him.  Get the bad guys.  

He's not just a retired Marine, he's a GRUNT.  I'm not entirely sure what that is, but put simply, he's a badass.  A genuine, trained Badass.  

And he likes me.

HOWEVER, we have not set a date to meet yet.  He says "soon", and I flat out asked him if he was involved with someone and he reassured me he is not, and has not been for a long time.  Calmly and directly, without any attitude.  You know, like a grown up responds to possibly rude questions.  So I returned the favor by thanking him for clarifying. 

It is starting to bother me though because i'm impatient.  From everything i've read (not too much) patience with a man retired from the military is extremely important for several reasons that are applicable in this situation.

So i better learn how to be patient.  For me, it's an anxiety thing.  I need to know,  and i need to know NOW.  That's not going to go well with this man.  So I adjust, or keep it moving.

Is that already me adjusting to him?  Is that a bad thing or is that just what people do?  I have to keep an eye on that. I naturally envelope myself into their lives, and that has not been a good thing in the long run.  I need to maintain my "SELF" while integrating with a man, not losing myself in him.

That sounds right.  Not like horseshit.

So........i have no idea when we meet face to face and until that time i control my impulse to project "what might be".  

It's hard not to get excited, but i always do this.  I take a bit of spark and run with it to the finish line before it even catches fire.  Relax, mb.  Relax.


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