aware

 Last night i spent 2 and 1/2 hours on the phone with Marine Man.  There was some flirting, but nothing i wouldn't say in front of other people.  We can't shut up.  He asks great questions, and remembers my answers.  Sometimes i have to repeat my questions......in that regard, he is a total guy.  

Nothing escapes me.  If you don't answer me, i give it another shot.  If you still don't answer me I file it away under "something he doesn't want to discuss" for future reference.

One thing i like is that he doesn't talk about women he has dated and he doesn't want to hear about anyone i've dated.  I like that.  We are dealing with who we are with each other.

He told me he respected me because our first conversations didn't have me asking interview questions like "where do you work" and "how many siblings do you have" etc.  You know, the boring questions that mean nothing until you know if you even LIKE the guy.  Who cares about the details in the beginning stages?  I act like i just sat down next to you in a bar and we started a conversation.  

Because, isn't that what it is?  It's finding out if you are interested, if you have anything in common...and then you get the details once that is confirmed.  No wonder so many people's first dates suck ass.  I hate it when i get  the financial portfolio on the first date.....dude, i could give a shit.  Thats your private business and i don't know you, or if i want to know you yet.  SMH.

I understand why women do it though.  They have a checklist in their head (so do I) and they are running through it trying to eliminate this man from the running.  Thats how i see it.  You can't live your life by a checklist.  There's a "vibe"...i know, everyone says that now.  But for me, it's true.  I've dated men that look perfect on paper and we had ZERO connection.

If i'm talking to Marine man for over 2 hours, there's a connection.  There's laughing, teasing - and disclosure.  

I can talk to pretty much anyone.  But it's not common to have the banter go both ways, and to already reference inside jokes. 

Here is my one concern so far.  Spending time talking to him, without having met him in person - that could be a huge waste of time.  We could spend all this time getting to know each other and then when we meet there is no connection.  He disagrees.  He thinks it's better to get to know each other first, and then the first meeting is more like coming home instead of a blind date.  

I'm taking a chance here.  Yesterday, i didn't hear from him all day after i responded to his good morning text (I know! shut up!) and i thought "ghosted"......because thats generally how it happens.  And then last night he called me and asked me about my day etc.  I asked about his day and he said he spent it with a friend.

.............my mind starts to do what it does. "a friend" can be......well, you know.  Not available all day.....but you know what?  He is "on vacation until retirement" and he can do whatever he damn well pleases.  He is showing interest in me, we are getting to know each other........i will remain aware, but there is no reason thus far to think that he's like anyone else i've ever dated.  you know, the lying cheating cowards.

(I love that I called Bill a coward and he got his little ego in a bend.  I was on point with that description, and i know it rings in his bald little head.  Good.  Fucker.  You don't get to play with womens emotions and not walk away with a reminder.)

Got sidetracked.  Marine man is not Bill.  He is not like anyone i've ever talked to before. Old School, retired bad boy, and can i just say.......Tall, Tatted, Bald and ........gooooood god.  My libido is waking up for SURE.  I just hope i'm not building him up which is always a possibility.

But he's leading the pace......and i'm willing to go for the ride.  Nice change of pace.  Nice to feel like a lady.