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Doing it again

 Last night i wanted nothing to do with anyone.  

Mister called and i talked to him for a few minutes and then told him i was all peopled out and really just wanted to read my book and go to bed.

A few people called and i looked at my phone and just couldn't do it.

So i gave myself the grace to take the night off and not interact.  And i did it without feeling bad for a change.  It's okay to not want to chit chat.  

I've been taking on a lot of my besties stress when she calls.  It's always very negative and i try to advise her but i think there is a lot going on that i don't know about and it's none of my business.  I sometimes feel like her marriage is struggling.  Thats not something she would share with me. She has boundaries, but expects me not to.

And i've learned never to get in the middle of anyones marriage.  I see things.  And i say nothing.  

I feel like we are drifting apart again, as we sometimes do.  But this time its me.  I feel like i'm sheltering myself from other peoples stress.  I'm starting to realize that a lot of the feelings i have are not even about my own life.

And that needs to change.

Teflon baby.

Being kind and sucking up other peoples toxic situations are totally different.

And i've been keeping stuff between Mister and I private.  I don't feel the need to talk it out with anyone in any depth of detail.  I dont' feel like i'm drowning and trying to have someone throw me a life jacket.  I'm floating.  

taking things nice and slow and paying attention to MY feelings, not so much his.  Interesting.


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