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Standards or being picky

 I belong to a group on Facebook for single people over the age of 50.  People from all over the country are members.  It's a pretty large group and i'm an on and off participant.  Mostly i view the conversations and memes.  At time, i will post a question or situation to get feedback.

Thursday i recieved no text or phone call from "Ted" the man who had asked me on Monday to go for drinks on Thursday after work.  We made the plan and that was it.  No further contact.  Thursday, after work, i went home, got changed and did my usual thing.  At 6pm he texted me that he was "there" waiting for me.

I texted him back and said "I had not heard from you, took it as disinterest, and made other plans" He wasn't happy.  He said, "if you needed conversation from me you should have said something".......

This man is supposedly an executive in a large insurance company in CT.  If he doesn't know that confirmation AT THE VERY LEAST is common courtesy, especially after no contact at all......imagine what dating this man would be like?

Zero effort, and zero accountability.  Yes, i gleened that by our very little communication.  He carried on texting me, pissed off that i wasn't coming, and i ignored him.

Yikes.

So, as women do, i started to second guess myself.  Was i expecting too much?  Did i overreact?  So i posted in the singles over 50 group and wow.  just. wow.  What an outpouring of support and derision, both. 

I was being coy, playing games, expecting too much, thinking i am the prize, better than him, and will always be single because of my "attitude".  OR on the flip side, curiously, mostly from men- I was completely right.  Many women accused me of exoecting the man to do everything, and why didn't i reach out to him and ask him if we were still on?  They were irate.  

Upon further investigation, they don't have a lot of dates for whatever reason.  So they were probably pissed i "wasted" a date.  Meaning, have a man take me out and pay for me even when i know i'm no longer interested due to his low effort and, in my opinion, gaslighting.  No thank you.

Some men became utterly irrate.  Like i stood them up.  (Which, i refuse to say i stood this man up, when he contacted me i responded)  Viscious.  And women with names like "bunny" came after me like i was the worst woman ever.

I call them "pick me" girls.  You can have a difference of opinion without tipping over into that category.  Some are so anti female that it is pathetic.  I am a girls girl.  And i'm attracted to mens men, that actually love women.  So many men hate women and its completely obvious in how they interact with a conversation like this one.

Not that it changed my mind at all.  But it was an interesting experience with a lot of interaction.  My opinion is all that matters in this particular situation because I'm the one that would have to go out and meet this low effort, not interested, male.  

Besties birthday party on Saturday.  I gave her her gift before everyone came (because yes i was hours early) and it made her cry.  She loved it.  And she said she showed her mother over facetime (she's in sicily) and she loved it.  Everyone loved it.  I'm just glad it hit for HER.  I worked hard on that project and it was very sentimental.  I made sure to take a lot of pictures of her with her granddaughters, and the whole family.  I think i might print out a couple for her and send the rest to her.  I got some really great pictures.

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