i applied

 My work situation has been making me lose sleep.  It's not that i don't still love my job.  I do.  But it's all very uncertain.

I'm not too worried about being unemployed.  It's mostly about what will I be doing, and where is my home?  At this point, i literally am a stepchild that no-one pays attention to aside from my boss. es.  Some say that's a good place to be.  Some don't understand financing, and who is paying for me to be here.

I'm a program coordinator.  I have a program, and i coordinate it.  Along with that, i do general support for my "old" boss.  Now i have both and old and a new boss and it appears that the new boss will need a lot more support.  Thats me.  I know how to do it, i've BEEN doing support for the majority of my career.  I had finally grown out of it and moved into a position where i "owned" something.

So many changes are happening at the top going down.  

I have to protect myself.  I've learned never to take too much faith in the "dont worry you will have a job" type attitude.  So i applied for another lateral position.  In a department.  Did i want to?  No.  Do i have a choice? also no.  It's my back up plan.

I don't believe i will have any difficulties moving to a different position.  It would be lateral. And it would be me choosing it.  Not waiting for the powers that be to remember i'm a person and i've been waiting to understand what my place here is.  Perhaps this will kick my new boss into geer as far as being a bit more proactive in defining what my role is and where i belong.

I like him, he is easy to work with, he likes things his way and i have zero issue giving it to him like that.  He's not difficult or cranky or a jerk, and i've supported all of those types over my many years.  He is one of the better.  However, i did not choose to be executive support.  I want my own program.  

Am i crazy?  Stupid? both?

I'm just feeling out the possibilities.