Skip to main content

i'm not 16

My bestie is really hard to buy for.  She is very particular, and she likes expensive things that i cannot afford.

That said, we do not exchange gifts for our birthdays or holidays.  She would go crazy and get me expensive lovely gifts and i can't keep up with that.  I know she meant well.  So we decided no more gifts and she HATES it.

Jen likes to thrift shop and pretty much only buys second hand items, like me.  For her birthday last year she demanded i make her a bullet journal like mine.  She loved it, and she wanted one.  So i made her a planner and put a lot of quotes and pictures in it.  She carries it with her everywhere.  She loves it.

Bestie, did NOT like the idea that i made Jen a gift.  Did she say it?  No.  But i did feel her waves of "what the fuck" .......so this year, i'm making her gift.  

I wrote her a poem, and i am transferring it onto a watercolor painting i did of her birthday month flowers.  I've been practicing how to paint daisies and sweet pea flowers.........

Maybe she won't like it or maybe she will love it.  It's coming from my heart.  I decided a while back that buying new things is a waste.  I love to shop thrift and find things that i know people will love- it's like a little surprise shot of joy.  I think it's more meaningful to shop all year and when i find something i know is meant for one of my kids, or grandkids, or friends.......i buy it and give it to them.  I don't wait for a holiday.

It's more fun shopping for other people.

Once i saw a collection of medals and i immediately thought of Carlos.  He had quite a collection.  I only really saw it once, but it was impressive.  I saw the medals and wondered why anyone would just donate them to Savers and I almost bought them.  But i don't see him.  I can't even call him a friend.  But that is what happens...........i see stuff, and it makes me think of people.

Because i know bestie is not fond of used items..........i decided to make her something.  And next year, i will decide what to do then.  And in the meantime, if i see something she would like at the thrift, i will pick it up for her.

I think its about being thought of more than the gift.  But if the gift is perfect, that is 10 times better.

Jen is good at giving me stuff- she does it sneaky.  But i know what she's up to.  

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

I love ChatGPT

 I am extremely transparent with my emotions because i do not have the ability to NOT be.  My only option when i'm having any feelings is to talk in a very low, slow, monotone voice and keep my face as blank as i possibly can. Unless they mean something to me. Unless i care about them and how they treat me.  So while i'm perfectly okay with never seeing or hearing from Mr. Cigar again, in light of his true self unveiling, I am overthinking my expression of emotions to him.   I took this little conversation and put it into ChatGPT with no questions or directions and this is what i got back: This exchange captures a painful and emotionally charged moment. Your initial message was heartfelt, vulnerable, and expressed a genuine desire for connection and acknowledgment. His response, while polite on the surface, carried a sharp undercurrent of blame and finality—deflecting accountability and subtly rewriting the narrative as your fault. Ending it with “safe travels ...

Same stuff

 Nothing new to report.   I've been managing my anxiety, trying to, at least.  I know when it's kicking up and i know it's temporary.   Still doing physical therapy, walking, stretching, losing weight VERY slowly.  Not so easy to lose it at my age.  But i have an appointment in September to discuss hormone replacement and i think that may help me out with body aches and lethargy. Mr. Cigar is as busy as ever, yet always manages to make me feel important in his life.  It's been only 3 months and that shocks me a little bit.  Feels like it's been so much longer.  The pace is perfect, and it's nice to not have to make power moves with him.   I need to see my kids.  I think about them daily and know they have busy lives.  But i feel disconnected sometimes.  Same with some of my friends.  It's really hard for me to reach out.  To anyone. And i've also been enjoying my "do absolutely nothing" time. ...

Sunday funday

 I stayed in bed until 8am.  Yes, i was scrolling my phone, but still........i was in bed.  Also, i made coffee and brought it BACK to bed.....so yes, technically, i remained in bed until 8am. I have a hard time staying up past 9pm.  And then i can't sleep past 6:30 at the latest.  When did that happen? Yesterday, i was ready for bed by 7pm at the birthday party.   I got to hold, okay, i TOOK the 6 day old premie babie and cradled his little body for a longggg time.  I layed him in my lap so i could see him, and he could strettttttttch his tiny body.  This little boy, normally, would still be baking in the womb.......but here he is, tiny and mighty, in my lap.  His tiny hands, his tiny FEET.  OMG.  New mamma was happy to be with her family and socialize, but new daddy, stayed close.  He talked about all the things CJ does already.......sleep, eat, poop.   He is a very nice young man, very in tune with his sons wh...