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taxes and bills oh my

Yesterday after work i was so deep in my head that i missed my turn on the way home and ended up in Avon....so i went to the grocery store i like, and headed home.  I did not take my usual after work walk around the neighorhood.  It's become a routine. Come home, get changed, suck down some water, go for a walk, come home, make dinner and eat in front of the television.  

I've been binge watching "Tell me Lies" and i only have 2 episodes left.  But rather than sit there all night i cleaned up the kitchen and went through my bills and taxes.  Joy.  But i filed yesterday so at least that is off my mind for another year.

I want a second job.  The problem is taxes.  If i get a second job to have wiggle room in my budget i get thrown into the next tax bracket, paying more taxes.......which in effect, makes the second job me working for free.

What kind of set up is that?  As a single woman with no property or investments, i get fucked with taxes.  I can't win.  Even if i work harder.....especially if i work harder.  So i sit, with no added income because i'm not working for free.

I thought of an under the table job, (off the books) but there's too much risk.  I'm a rule follower when it comes to taxes and insurance.  Those two don't like not getting their money and they come after you with a vengence if you don't pay your dues.


I worked on my little bookshelf and printed out a few more books to put on it.  I've decided to decorate it with miniature stickers, like the ones i've collected - I don't want a boring bookshelf.  I want it to represent me since i have to have a grown up living space.  So i'm having fun with it.  

I go back and forth between projects.....the adult coloring, both pencil and alcohol markers have me entertained, along with the diamond painting (not as much), bullet journaling, miniatures, and crochet ....i've got my time covered.  Add reading and binge watching movies and series.  Who has time for a man?

I miss my pets.  it's very quiet in this house now.  I keep thinking i see Miyagi walk by, or hear Ninja jump off a shelf.  When something falls i want to automatically yell at the cat.....She's doing very well with my son.  She's a princess now.  And she has a sister to keep her occupied.  Miyagi is always with me- i wear his name tag when i can.  He had it on his collar for ten years, lying on his chest.  Now it lies on mine.  It makes me feel close to him.  I miss him so much it's unbearable sometimes.  Even now, i'm crying.

Maybe i need another 4 legged companion.  I won't.  I want to save every animal that needs a home but the reality is they are expensive.  And I need freedom to not come home, and travel.  No companion is ever going to be like Miyagi.......i could take him anywhere and half the time people didn't even know he was with me.

He was one of a kind.  Made for each other.  And now there is an empty hole.  

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