slow burn

 Apparently they call this a "slow burn" relationship.

He is in his busy season, and he's also trying to acquire other small businesses that have decided it's not worth the work. He is growing his business so he can retire and leave it to his partner.

This guy, he is no dummy.  He is extremely conscious of making money.  He takes no time off - and on the weekends, IF he isn't working, he does competitive shooting.

I've never seen a man pamper his dogs the way he does.  They are literally his children - very big children.

His home is clean - uncluttered except for the firefighter paraphernalia.....which is literally how i found out he is a retired firefighter.  He doesn't brag.  

One night he took his firefighter helmet down and put it on.

I nearly stroked out.

My imagination got the best of me and he laughed at my red face, told me i'm silly.

Silly wants to ravish you my friend.  

Anyways - the slow burn.

He's busy, i don't like going out during the week, we both go to bed early and get up early (he gets up REALLY early) and i usually have plans with friends on the weekend and he shoots.

Where are we fitting this in?

He calls me at least once a day and during the work day we text randomly once in a while.  He always reaches out.  I'm getting used to it....and look forward to it.  It's not at a certain time.  It's whenever we can make it happen.

We don't always agree and sometimes, we have heated "discussions".  He's not disrespectful but his words strike home a little too close at times.

We both have baggage.  Some dealt with, some fresh.  

He's not seeing anyone else (he says, and i tend to believe him) and neither am i.  I'm not off the market either.  But how would any prospective male know that?  right?  I'm not advertising.

It's taking time - and in a way, i am really enjoying that.  In another way, my anxious attachment style feels like i'm not being chosen quick enough.

HOWEVER, my adult mind is telling me relationships built on firm foundations last.  And if it's meant to be, it will happen.  There is nothing i can or want to do to push this man along.  He's unpushable.

And while it makes me frustrated sometimes, to say the least, it also makes me secure.  I believe what he says.

War of the alphas for sure.  

But i never wanted my alpha status in a romantic relationship in the first place.  It was gifted to me by being with men who were irresponsible, who i could not trust to look out for our welfare.

If this works out, it will be different than anything i've ever experienced.