Skip to main content

Porch pirates

 I love how the holidays bring out the best and worst in people.  I wish it was just the best but we can't appreciate one without the other.  So they say.

I ordered a handcrafted personalized leather cigar holder, travel humidor from a leatherworker in the Ukraine for Bill as his main gift. He is a cigar smoker, obviously.  I usually see him shove the cigars into the inside of his coat pocket.  I thought this would be a little bougie for him.  This man is very difficult to buy for because he has very expensive taste and he buys everything he wants.

I've been in contact with the seller back and forth and was notified the package was delivered.  Except it wasnt.  So round and round we go with tracking and i see it was delivered to the wrong address.  At least it wasn't porch pirates, but now i have to go knock on the door of the address clearly shown and hope they are honest and give it to me.  For me, it was an expensive gift, and i cannot afford to replace it.

Even his underwear is expensive.  And i wasn't buying him that. I did get him a few other things that i've heard him say he wants, like loose tea (and a thingy to put it in) and some special chocoates he likes.  Nothing earth shattering, but i did put a lot of thought into what he would use, and like.  He hates waste.  I got him a big christmas stocking, and i will wrap his gifts and put it all in the stocking.

I might drop it off tonight after i wrap presents so he can have it there Christmas eve and day while i am with my family.  Next year, when we are still together, I will want him to share Christmas with my family.  That will all be different again because my son and his wife are having a baby.  

I am going to be a grandmother of 2!!!  I am beyond excited that they decided to have a child.  I can't wait to meet the new addition to our family.  I will be spoiling this baby as much as I do Zoe Margaret.  It is still early, and they are being cautious but I did buy a tiny christmas stocking with a big "B" on it for "baby".  They can hang it on their tree as a reminder that the baby shared Christmas with us before it was born.  I did that when i was pregnant with my daughter and i loved hanging it every year.  Now she has it.  And now my son and his wife will have one too!!

Yesterday I saw a friends husband in the hallway at work.  We gave each other a big hug and chatted for a few minutes.  He told me "Wow you have slimmed down a lot MB!  wow"  which is a very nice way to acknowledge my wieght loss.  I was very happy.  No one really says anything to me about it and i had begun  to wonder if i was the only one who noticed.

Shallow, i know.  But more importantly, i feel a lot better.  



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I love ChatGPT

 I am extremely transparent with my emotions because i do not have the ability to NOT be.  My only option when i'm having any feelings is to talk in a very low, slow, monotone voice and keep my face as blank as i possibly can. Unless they mean something to me. Unless i care about them and how they treat me.  So while i'm perfectly okay with never seeing or hearing from Mr. Cigar again, in light of his true self unveiling, I am overthinking my expression of emotions to him.   I took this little conversation and put it into ChatGPT with no questions or directions and this is what i got back: This exchange captures a painful and emotionally charged moment. Your initial message was heartfelt, vulnerable, and expressed a genuine desire for connection and acknowledgment. His response, while polite on the surface, carried a sharp undercurrent of blame and finality—deflecting accountability and subtly rewriting the narrative as your fault. Ending it with “safe travels ...
Post a Comment
Keep reading »

I danced.

 This past Saturday night i revisited what it felt like to be the zero fucks ME.   I had talked myself out of going out that night.  I dragged my ass around the house and thought of every reason to text my girlfriend an excuse about why i wasn't going out. I had many valid reasons.  Putting on real clothes, trying to make myself attractive, going somewhere i've never been all by myself to walk up to a man i've been talking to, but haven't ever met face to face.   Okay, Mb.  Just put on your sassy pants and go do it.  Nothing to lose, everything to gain.   But PJs.   No.   On my way I get a text from my gf, she's running late.  When i get to the venue I ask her "how late" and she says about 1/2 an hour. She's picking up our other 2 girlfriends. Do i sit out here in the car for half an hour like a baby when his gig starts in half hour, or do i go inside by myself (getting used to that) and find him, say hello ...
Post a Comment
Keep reading »

Same stuff

 Nothing new to report.   I've been managing my anxiety, trying to, at least.  I know when it's kicking up and i know it's temporary.   Still doing physical therapy, walking, stretching, losing weight VERY slowly.  Not so easy to lose it at my age.  But i have an appointment in September to discuss hormone replacement and i think that may help me out with body aches and lethargy. Mr. Cigar is as busy as ever, yet always manages to make me feel important in his life.  It's been only 3 months and that shocks me a little bit.  Feels like it's been so much longer.  The pace is perfect, and it's nice to not have to make power moves with him.   I need to see my kids.  I think about them daily and know they have busy lives.  But i feel disconnected sometimes.  Same with some of my friends.  It's really hard for me to reach out.  To anyone. And i've also been enjoying my "do absolutely nothing" time. ...
Post a Comment
Keep reading »