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always look good

 This morning i put on wide leg jeans and then tried on every shirt and sweater possible to try and get away with it.........nope.  I can't do it.  Took off the jeans, put on the slacks and a jacket.  I feel so tired and sluggish but i can NOT look it at work.

I have to dress appropriately.  UGGGHHH.



Fine, i won't wear makeup today.  But i did.  I think they call this tough love.  There used to be days before this job where i could go to work looking a bit sloppy, comfy.  I simply can't anymore.  I don't wear a white lab coat so i better be looking relatively sharp............even when i feel like crawling back into bed.

More people know me than i know..........if that makes sense.  I send emails out to people i've never met, i'm on team meetings with leadership, I canNOT afford for anyone to think i'm sloppy in any way.

Especially since i'm taking on tasks that are above my job title and I'm doing it strategically.  I don't have the degree needed for the next step up.........but, if i do the job, i can reclassify.  It's the only way i can move up so thats what i'm shooting for.

The ice machine in the cafe has been broken all week and it's been putting me (and others) in a bad mood.  Ice water is life around here, as much as coffee is.  This morning i almost danced over to it when i saw the sign was down and the machine is working.  Yahoooooo.  And then an AVP from another department came up and he was also ridiculously excited so we stood there filling our very large cups being ridiculous.

As i walked away i thought "he's kinda cute".....and then i slapped myself in my mind.  Really hard.  I see him every morning on the hospital wide leadership team call.......he must be married.  I would think.

Anyways, i've been having people talk to me who never used to even SEE me.  I think the weight loss i'm experiencing and the excersize is affecting how i carry myself and my attitude.  I'm not trying to hide. 

Who knows.  Maybe they are noticing because i'm not a fat ass anymore.  

But the ass will always be fat, to be clear.

In a pretty good place this morning.  Lets hope it holds.  

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