Big Meeting

 Today i attend an important meeting with all faculty and administration regarding my program.

I'm not nervous.  yet.

Woke up, put on professional makeup (barely there) slacks, silk shell, and a black wool blazer - added a silky scarf for a little pizzaz.  Classy jewelry ...but left my nose stud in.

And off i go.

now i'm nervous.

about what?  I don't have to speak, i'm just attending.  I want everyone to know my face, not just my emails.  Some have been super unpleasant, but others, amazing.  All should know who I am.  I touch their stuff.  I know things.  I'm the do-bee baby.  

So i'm excited to be known, and thats a huge difference from normal.  I almost didn't get married because i didn't want to be the center of attention.  And look at me now.

Yesterday i worked from home and plowed through so much "stuff".  I was content with my productivity.  After work i sat down and put together a snowball payoff debt plan.  And i'm working on a budget.  By the time i get paid tomorrow, i will know where every single cent of my pay is going, and how the next paychecks will be spent.

I'm in overdrive with my finances.  I need to get control and pay off debt fast.  I dont want it hanging over my head.  I want savings.  I want vacations.  I want experiences.  And i can't do all of that comfortably (meaning being able to sleep at night) without knowing i'm financially secure.

I've always been hand to mouth.  I need to be better.  

So i'm back into goals and achievments which is were i think i was before i allowed my emotions to sidetrack me with Bill.

See?  Always a lesson to be learned.  And trust, i've learned.