catch up

 Last night was me taking my gf out for her birthday dinner.  We don't see each other often (discussed yesterday) but when we do, the vibe is always there.

Thats the thing about real friends.  Time goes by like nothing and you are still friends.

We confided the really important stuff, checked in about work loving or not loving......and i had a Old fashioned that cost $23 .......wTF.  Has it always been this expensive???  

We talked about income, free time, and being happy. or not.  She is a really good touch base for me because we had similar disruptive childhoods although with completely different outcomes.  That, in fact, is how we originally bonded all those years ago, when on a snowy day in Vermont while all the boys went snowmobiling, she stayed back with me (I never went on those 200 mile rides in snow and no peeing).  

She took me up over the mountain to go see her ailing grandmother in a nursing home and on the way back we did a little shopping.  By the time we headed back to the house, an ice storm hit as we were on our way back up the mountain and ta da......they closed it.  

I didn't know you COULD close a mountain, but because it was so icy and dangerous, they did.  We sat, pulled over on the side of the road in her boyfriends (now husband) very large and expensive truck and listened to music, talked, plucked out eyebrows, and then......we had to pee.  The  truck was coated in ice, the ground was coated in ice, and the two of us carefully made our slippery way to the back of the truck, laughing hysterically and trying not to pee our pants because we had waited so long.  As we both "sat" on the the back fender trying not to fall on our bare asses, we bonded.

Thats not true but it was the start.  Peeing together is a long time female ritual.  Never pee with someone you don't trust.

By the time they opened the mountain and we carefully followed a very experience plow down the other side of it, we were in tune with each other .  The circling phase of "is this a friend or an acquaintance" had ended.  Back at the house we got into pretty heavy conversation about our growing up, about our fears, and dreams about the future.

She confided that she didn't think she would be a good mother.  And i told her she definitely would be. And guess what?  She is.  

From that icy day forward we were friends.  She is my bottom line, get it done friend.  Be careful what you ask for because she will make it happen full steam ahead.  She has a deep well of caring and she will move heaven and earth to help someone, even if they don't want it sometimes.  She is very opinionated, and it always comes from a place of caring for others.

I love her husband as well.  He is/was my 13 years bf best friend.  We all spent a lot of time together.  I miss that sometimes.

She is the kind that once you are planted in her heart you aren't going anywhere.  Breakup shmakeup.  We went through an adjustment period after my breakup.  She was the one i went to the night it happened and cried and mourned in her arms at her home.....where i ran for comfort.  She had always told me he wasn't good enough for me, even though she loved him too.  And she told me again that night that better was waiting for me.  And she was right.  My life has gotten better without him.  But because the men were so close, she was thrown into the situation of having to be polite to the new woman my ex promptly tried to put in my place.  And I had difficulty with that.  Her and i went through a rough patch and she told me she was NEVER letting me go, and i think thats what i needed to hear.  And its true.  She reaches out, she stays in touch, and admittedly, she is the better friend.

And here we are today.  Always as if no time has passed.  Thats a friendship to value.  Thats love.