Skip to main content

light and dark

Yesterday (Sunday) my plan was to smoke, and watch movies all day or just smoke and stare at the wall.  Not leave the house.  My friends left late morning and while i felt better when they were here, that quiet got me as soon as they left.  

A gentleman i'm communicating with on facebook dating sent me a picture of him leaning on his motorcycle asking me if i want to go for a ride......



Well, yeah. I do want to go for a ride.

I agreed to meet him for lunch, which turned into several hours, and we could decide if a ride was in the cards.  

It was.  He was a great lunch date and i enjoyed his company.  Not a lot of laughing, but the conversations was one of the best.  Deep questions, from HIM, great time.  Then we moved outside and stood around talking for another half hour.  Finally i asked him if we were going for a ride?  His face lit up like a sun and he asked me "you want to?".......i said "Do YOU?" and he said "YES"......THEN i laughed.  He seemed so surprised.  Was i giving a totally different vibe?  

We went for a nice ride, stopped a few times, once for a couple of drinks at a gas station, the second at a reservoir which had trails.  We took a nice stretch our legs walk, i took some pictures and he showed me so many pictures in his phone of nature pics he has taken.

Now it's getting dark, so we head back to the restaurant to get me to my car.  And proceed to talk MORE

Neither of us could shut up.  finally, we realized how late it was and hugged for the third time saying goodbye.  

Usually i'm annoyed when a man keeps stretching the time out ........but neither of us realized how much time had passed so quickly.  

He works very odd hours, at the whim of his company based on the work.....He's some kind of commercial plumber from what i understand. (we really didn't talk shop) Big contracts at schools, etc.  Does a lot of work on new structures.  Thats what i got.  Not an entire financial portfolio.

He also seemed impressed with what i do. We have a lot of the same views and he doesn't seem like a yes man to me.  Time will tell.

Yes, he is attractive.  VERY tall, slender, nice face.  He has hair, kept short.  facial hair, nice eyes. no tats. No obsession with an ex that i can tell, and no desire to rush into a relationship, but looking for one.  

But the ride..........omg did i need that so much.  He had a sissy bar on so while we were close, i didn't have to be all up on him.  He also grew up on dirtbikes and got his first harley at 18.  So i felt comfortable with him not being a newbie.  And i did let go and relax.  Like releasing steam from a pressure cooking.  After a few minutes on the bike i started to feel "that" feeling....a lightness, a giving over of all control (only riding the back of a bike can explain that to you) and a lift in my spirits...a joy.   ooooh yes, this was long overdue.

Anyhow.  We will see what happens from here.  Maybe he calls, or doesn't.  Was still an outstanding last minute date.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I love ChatGPT

 I am extremely transparent with my emotions because i do not have the ability to NOT be.  My only option when i'm having any feelings is to talk in a very low, slow, monotone voice and keep my face as blank as i possibly can. Unless they mean something to me. Unless i care about them and how they treat me.  So while i'm perfectly okay with never seeing or hearing from Mr. Cigar again, in light of his true self unveiling, I am overthinking my expression of emotions to him.   I took this little conversation and put it into ChatGPT with no questions or directions and this is what i got back: This exchange captures a painful and emotionally charged moment. Your initial message was heartfelt, vulnerable, and expressed a genuine desire for connection and acknowledgment. His response, while polite on the surface, carried a sharp undercurrent of blame and finality—deflecting accountability and subtly rewriting the narrative as your fault. Ending it with “safe travels ...
Post a Comment
Keep reading »

Same stuff

 Nothing new to report.   I've been managing my anxiety, trying to, at least.  I know when it's kicking up and i know it's temporary.   Still doing physical therapy, walking, stretching, losing weight VERY slowly.  Not so easy to lose it at my age.  But i have an appointment in September to discuss hormone replacement and i think that may help me out with body aches and lethargy. Mr. Cigar is as busy as ever, yet always manages to make me feel important in his life.  It's been only 3 months and that shocks me a little bit.  Feels like it's been so much longer.  The pace is perfect, and it's nice to not have to make power moves with him.   I need to see my kids.  I think about them daily and know they have busy lives.  But i feel disconnected sometimes.  Same with some of my friends.  It's really hard for me to reach out.  To anyone. And i've also been enjoying my "do absolutely nothing" time. ...
Post a Comment
Keep reading »

Sunday funday

 I stayed in bed until 8am.  Yes, i was scrolling my phone, but still........i was in bed.  Also, i made coffee and brought it BACK to bed.....so yes, technically, i remained in bed until 8am. I have a hard time staying up past 9pm.  And then i can't sleep past 6:30 at the latest.  When did that happen? Yesterday, i was ready for bed by 7pm at the birthday party.   I got to hold, okay, i TOOK the 6 day old premie babie and cradled his little body for a longggg time.  I layed him in my lap so i could see him, and he could strettttttttch his tiny body.  This little boy, normally, would still be baking in the womb.......but here he is, tiny and mighty, in my lap.  His tiny hands, his tiny FEET.  OMG.  New mamma was happy to be with her family and socialize, but new daddy, stayed close.  He talked about all the things CJ does already.......sleep, eat, poop.   He is a very nice young man, very in tune with his sons wh...
Post a Comment
Keep reading »