what did i do? love myself.

 I cooked a huge meal and destroyed my kitchen.

Brocoli Rabe, sweet and hot italian sausage, penne pasta..........lots of garlic and olive oil.  Then i put the shredded parm on top.

I ate a small bowl and then looked at the mess i had created.  ewwww.

I danced.

While i cleaned the kitchen i put on my favorites playlist and danced, by myself, joyfully and with abandon.  I did this with no alcohol. No cannabis. Just relief.

I practiced gratefullness.

I admired my bright red dutch oven.  I love it.  It's so heavy and bright and it makes me happy cooking in it.  

I meditated.

Before bed and after the cleanup i sat down and pulled out my coloring books.  I picked all my favorite colors of markers and i mindlessly colored.  outside the lines.  not perfect.  I just let my mind go blank.

I took rest.

Clean Pj's, fan on, meds taken, I crawled into my comfy bed with Miyagi and I remembered to put on my cpap mask.  I listened to the stand up comedy channel for 15 minutes while i fell asleep.

I slept deeply, and with peace.